Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Why FDR Quotes Won't Work on 8 year olds...

So Viv has been dealing with some issues surrounding a scary movie she saw. Coraline completely freaked her out. To explain further would require another Blog post... so I will save that for another day.

Since tonight was my 5th or 6th night explaining that everything is just fine and there is nothing to worry about, I decided to pull out the Old FDR Line" You have nothing to fear, except fear itself".

Thinking I was quite the sage of wisdom for pulling out such an appropirately timed line, I followed up by asking Vivian if she understood what that meant.

Nodding fervently, the following monologue ensued:
"Yes, I do. The other day I saw this movie Space Chimp, and there is this other world in outer space, where people have to wear helmets. And they all do the same stuff. Well, the helmet lights up if someone is scared, or something like that. So they go into this cave, where there is a scary monster, and this girl is wearing this helmet, she's really scared so it keeps lighting up. Well eventually this monster eats her, cause she is so scared, it finds her. Later, she comes back, and the other people were like 'oh, I thought you got eaten up' and she was like 'I was, you don't even want to know how I got out'. She came out the rear end of the moster, Mommy."

Winston Churchill ...
Space Chimps ...
Aliens ...
Space Monsters ...
Space Monster Poop.

Little did Vivian know that Franklin D Roosevelt was turning over in his grave.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Conversations with the 4 year old.

M (Mom): Christian stop pulling down on the front of my shirt.
C (Christian): Mommy what's that thingy?
M: What thingy? My bra? People don't want to see my bra, it's like underwear, so don't pull on my shirt.
C: Underwear?! Ew gross... Mommy, why is your bra made out of underwear?
M: It's not made out of underwear, it IS underwear. I wear it under my clothes.
C: Why Mommy? To hide your nipples?
M: Uh...
C: It's ok Mommy, I'm an expert of nipples
[End of conversation]