Pictures, Pictures, Pictures...

As a father who has two very active kids, I have built over 50 GB of pictures of the things we do. 

It's just so easy when you have a subjects like these:

I take pictures, it's what I do.

Technorati Tags: Children,Photography

Hey, here's something you can do...

...click on a link to support the fight against Breast Cancer.

Every year over 40,000 women die from breast cancer... one in eight women either has or will develop breast cancer if their lifetime.

If detected early, survival rate is increased dramatically. So, the reason for this post is that I committed to telling at least 10 people, at least once a month. The goal is to continue doing this until I run The Columbus Race for the Cure in 2008.

So, Please tell ten friends to tell ten today!

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman.

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle).

This doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

If you're curious as to whether this is really spam or not... check out this site for more background information: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/charity/mammogram.asp

Technorati Tags: Breast Cancer Awareness,Causes,Mammogram,Think Pink

Children and the Reality of Death

This is a true story. I swear, it happened on Wednesday (12/12/07 7:58 a.m. to be precise). The kids and I were getting ready to go to school. I was helping Vivian get her jacket on. She said to me, "Mommy, do you miss Max?" Max, our beloved family pet cat, died about 2.5 years ago. We loved him, and buried him in our backyard. "Yes, Vivian. I miss him very much sometimes. But, I also try to remember that he was very sick just before he died, and I like to think that he is in a better place now." Christian, age 3, without skipping and beat, and with a puzzling look on his face, replied: "Under a rock, mommy?" It was really hard not laughing as I replied, "No honey, I meant with God in Heaven, sweetie."

Viv's Daily Workout Schedule

Aside from the normal activities my 6-yr old loved to do, she's starting to do a daily routine of working out to keep in shape. 

This is more so for her to build up her core for gymnastics.  Here's a small glimpse of what she does.

Mon

5 minutes stretching
12 - push-ups
12 - sit-ups

Tue

1 hours at the gymnastics

Wed

5 minutes stretching
12 - push-ups
12 - sit-ups

Thr

1 hours at the gymnastics

Fri

5 minutes stretching
12 - push-ups 
12 - sit-ups

Sat

5 minutes stretching
12 - push-ups
12 - sit-ups

Sun

Rest

Technorati Tags: health and fitness,children

No, we did not get a dog.

Vivian's been wanting a puppy for as long as I can remember...

I wouldn't mind getting a puppy either, we're just not ready for it.

However, if we did get a dog, we'd probably get an American Eskimo.

They look like this, when they're older... 

I'd name him/her Snowball.   

Where did it all go wrong?

Alright, I am sure that you are wondering what we did this weekend. It's Monday, that's the typical inquiry you get, so here goes... In a nutshell, we forced the children into hard labor. The Big Day (Christmas with my parents) is approaching quickly. Every other year, my sister and I take turns "hosting the parents". Don't get me wrong, I have a great time with them, have dinner made for me every night, play games, and more, but I can never seem to get my house prepared for their visit. It ALWAYS comes down to the last minute. SO, this year, is the first year we started 'early'. We started upstairs, hoping to get the worst parts over first, not unlike eating your brussel sprouts on your dinner plate and saving the steak and potatoes last. We basically purged and rearranged both kids' rooms, and then started on our room. We extricated 3 bags of giveaway clothing from Vivian's Room, and 2 bags from Christian's Room. The kids were both 'required' to help do this in each of their respective rooms. And I only had to make Santa Threats a few times. The kids are super excited about their new "rooms"... and then we moved onto the Master Bedroom. Ummm... Yeah... I quickly saw my dreams of a completely clean and tidy upstairs poof away. I also came to a quick realization that not cleaning your closet for 15 years is a BAD THING. So far, we are up to 18 bags for Salvation Army/Kidney Foundation. And we didn't even finish. There is still so much to do, and I am hoping and praying that we can finish this week upstairs, so that we can start downstairs next weekend. Not to mention, at some point in the next 2 weekends, we need to go Christmas shopping and hang up our decorations.... not to mention the regular home maintenance that needs to happen, too... AHHHHHH! Feeling a little crazy and panicky now...

Reactive Parenting

There are two types of parenting when it comes to raising children.  Proactive and Reactive.  The proactive parent is involved and aware, cognizant of what the child is doing, setting guidelines and using discipline to teach the child what is right and wrong.  The reactive parent is also aware but let's the child experiment in an somewhat open arena, leaving the child to learn from his mistakes and deal with the ramifications that are involved.

Now, in order to be an effective parent, you do have to be a combination of both.  Finding a balance between the two is THE challenge.  However, to be an extreme in either category is NOT a good thing.  And, being a dad that's constantly on the move with the kids, it's easy to see fall into the "reactive" category, which I thought I did *A LOT*.

Until yesterday.

Taking the kids to their activities, I have a lot of opportunities to watch other parents. 

Yesterday,  I realized something about reactive parenting.   Some reactive parents give their children too much extended freedom.  Basically, whatever consequences come from the child's action is supposed to teach the child proper and appropriate behavior, regardless of how it effects the environment or others. 

To illustrate, I ask - is it my responsibility to tell another person's child that they should be using their "inside" voices?  Especially,  when it is obvious to all the other parents that he's distracting and behaving inappropriately.  It's also apparent that other parents are reluctant to over step their bounds.  So, am I the consequence that the child is supposed to learn from or do I remove my children from the situation and let the kid continue on?

I see two problems with the reactive approach.  The first, what and from whom does the child really learn?  Did he actually learn that he should be quiet and stop horsing around in order to respect other people's space?  I don't think so... from the kid's reaction, he learned that I'm a mean guy who ruins all his fun.  His real parent didn't stop him, the other parents were too passive, and I'm a complete stranger...  I have no leverage to teach this boy much.

The second problem is that the parent ends up having to deal with the consequences of the kids' consequences.  In my case, the boy's parent had to deal with the embarrassing situation of another parent, namely me, appropriately disciplining  their child.  It must be easier to say "sorry" to a stranger, than to say "no" to your child.

Where does the line get drawn between being a reactive parent versus a lazy parent?

Sher and I prefer the more proactive approach of consistent discipline.  It was not so much a conscious choice, but rather something that make sense to us and came naturally.  We find comfort in knowing that when we do give our kids the freedom to learn from their environment that our kids will not stick their hand on the stove, not because they've done it before and learned that fire is hot, but because we taught them that the fire can harm them.

Technorati Tags: parenting,discipline,children,reactive parenting

Lego Bricks - potential weapon?

Lego bricks are great. Such a simply toy, with so many benefits. What other toy allow your kids to truly imagine and build, as well as give them a tool to debilitate their parents in one felt swoop? I experienced a shock this morning, when headed to the basement to bring up some laundry. Yup, you guessed it... first step down, a Lego brick. It was a 2 x 2 brick, the size just perfect to hit the arch of your foot and make a grown man flinch in pain and do the one legged hop dance. Evil little buggers! Lego = WMD? maybe...

Meaning of Life

An unfortunate person is one who tries to fart but shits instead. A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but can't.

I would really like to pretend that I know the meaning of life, and that I have all the answers. And there is a pressure to show your children that you do know everything that is astoundingly strong. But the truth is that there is no answer for any of it. You just make the best of what you have been given. That's it. Everyday get a little bit better at determining the best path for your life. Sure you are going to make bad decisions and mistakes, knowing how to make reparations for those mistakes is what will get you through the end of each day.

There are days when I put my kids down to bed at night, when I just want to "get it done quickly", pushing them to brush their teeth, don their pjs, and pop into bed quietly. It very rarely goes this smoothly. Rush, rush rush. There is often just as much frustration in the "getting them to bed" mode as in the "getting them up and ready for school mode". It is just the way it is.

I find that I have to constantly remind myself, that these are the times that I am going to look back on when I am 80 years olds and in my rocker. I will not get a second chance at enjoying their childhood, this is it - right now, and it will be gone before I know it.

So, I take a deep breath, smell their hair, their smooth skin on their cheeks, look into their innocent eyes and just love them for who they are right now. My beautiful kids, with all the perfections and imperfections of life, they are gifts bestowed to me, and I cherish them.

Diary of a mad man?

Recently, I've been doing a lot of self evaluating and trying to home in on a particular aspect of my life that I would like to write more about. In this day an age, we as individuals have a lot of responsibilities and wear many different hats. For example, I'm a father, husband, son, brother. I'm a business owner, sales person, janitor. I'm a technology junkie, programmer, fixer of computers. I'm a music lover, movie lover, book lover, artist, photographer. I'm a scuba diver, skier, gamer. Throw in the fact that I'm a typical 30-something year old guy, what do we have? The potential making of a mad man. Of all these roles, interests, hobbies, etc. what brings me the most joy (albeit with some frustrations) is being a dad. So, welcome to "Daddy Needs a Drink". This blog is my journal as a father of two highly energetic kids. Both of whom, I love very dearly. My, lovely, wife is an author here too. I'm trying to get her to write more... this might be the impetus. If you're looking for the other blog by the "other" me... check it out here.

http://knightdiver.blogspot.com/